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 !  The Faerie King, part 4, the last

An Original Comedy Screenplay By

John H. Leeper

** Note - Terms used in spec scripts:
O.S. = Off Screen
V.O. = Voice Over
EST = Establishing Shot
INT = Interior
EXT = Exterior
POV = Point Of View
INSERT = A Camera Shot Usually Focusing On An Object



Chris' compact car drives up to the curb outside Meg's apartment. It is RAINING. Meg dashes out of the entrance door and down the steps and opens the passenger side door.


Chris greets Meg with a huge smile. She seems absolutely carefree and happy-go-lucky.

Hey. How are you doing? Did you
have a good afternoon?

Meg stares at Chris bewildered as she crawls into the seat and brushes damp strands of hair from her forehead.

What? Of course not. I'm worried
sick about Rene. Where's Danny?

Oh, Danny's sort of here and there.
But don't worry about Rene and
your grandparents. We found them.

Where are they? Are they okay?

They're fine. A Columbian drug
lord is holding them hostage at a
mansion in Hoffman Estates.


It's okay. Danny checked on them.
They're safely tied up in a room.


(trying to calm Meg)
Don't worry so much. Everything
will be fine.

Don't worry? A drug lord has my
six-year-old daughter tied up in
a room, and you're telling me
not to worry?

Chris becomes very philosophical.

You know, I've found out it's
really easy to get in a habit of
looking on the dark side of things.

A drug lord has my six-year-old
daughter tied up in a room!

Chris leans over the steering wheel and becomes pensive. She sounds like a speaker at a "positive thinking" seminar.

I had a real epiphany tonight. Now,
I understand how much time I just
wasted worrying about how things
OUGHT to be, instead of just - you
know, living.
Boy, they're right about one thing.
There's no reason to sweat the small
stuff, and EVERYTHING is small stuff.

Chris turns and smiles serenely at Meg.

Meg's stunned expression proves she is convinced that Chris has absolutely lost her mind. She approaches delirium.

have to go to the police.

No. Danny is right. It might
cause these guys to do something
rash. We can take care of this
ourselves. Everything we need is
in the back seat.

Meg turns and looks into the back seat of the car. There sits the rat terrier (Danny), who wags his tail happily at her.

Meg stares in stunned surprise, first at the dog, then Chris.

Chris puts the car in gear.


Chris' compact car drives up the street blowing a cloud of smoke from its tailpipe.

Isn't it a great night? There's a
Starbucks on the way. Do you want
to stop for a cappuccino?

MEG (V.O.)

The car accelerates into the darkness.

You're probably right. You don't
need the caffeine right now.


A pair of armed guards are seen patrolling the enormous iron entrance gate that leads to the mansion of the drug lord, Ramirez.


A short, Latino man opens a louvered door and enters a spacious room in an elegant home. He has a receding hairline with oiled hair that appears painted onto his skull. His thin mustache and chubby, baby face belie his inherent cruelty. This is Ramirez, a drug kingpin.

The slick lawyer and David Longtree have been seated on plush chairs but come to their feet as Ramirez enters. Meg's boss remains seated. A fifth of bourbon and a glass sits in front of him. He has been indulging liberally.

Mr. Ramirez, have you heard
anything from John Whitefoot?

Ramirez casually walks to a nearby counter where a crystal decanter holds brandy. He picks up a matching glass.

No, not a word from any of them;
and they aren't answering their
cell phones. I think we can
assume the worst.

I don't understand. I picked that
salvage yard so John could see cops
coming from a mile away.

Ramirez calmly pours a brandy. He is cool and collected.

Meg's boss looks up defiantly. It is as though he has been personally challenged.

It can't be the police. I have
men inside the department paid to
watch for any sign of trouble.
They'd have warned me.

Ramirez sips from the brandy and then stares quietly at the residual liquor.

I can be reasonably certain two
newspaper reporters didn't take
out six of my best men.

What about the little girl and the
two old people?

We keep them alive as bargaining
chips. But at the first sign of
trouble, we kill them and get out
of here.

The slick lawyer and Longtree stare at one another nervously.

This was more than Meg's boss bargained for in the deal. He is obviously frightened.

That's a six-year-old kid. I'm
not going to be a part of killing
a little girl.

Ramirez's eyes flash fire. He reaches into his pocket and produces a packet of cocaine. He stares coldly at Meg's boss.

You already are.
(pitches the packet
onto a table)
If this deal at the casino falls
through after all I've paid out for
it, I wouldn't be worried about a
kid. I'd be worried about myself.

Meg's boss swallows hard and retreats into his liquor-lined shell under Ramirez's malevolent stare.


The rain has stopped as Chris' compact speeds up the street in Hoffman Estates.


Chris is calmly driving along while Meg remain in lip-biting torment on the passenger side.

What's our plan?

Huh? Oh, I haven't really thought
much about it.

Meg looks stunned as Danny, the rat terrier, hops partially into the front seat, his forepaws on the armrest between Chris and Meg. He BARKS loudly.

Chris glances first at the dog and then Meg.

All right. Sounds good to me.


We crash through the front gate,
drive right up to the house and
demand they give up Rene and your

Meg is flabbergasted when she hears this.

You call that a plan? There's got
to be armed guards in there.

Oh, just forty or so, I think.


The rat terrier growls loudly, causing Chris to turn suddenly and scowl at him.

Ah, ah. Remember what you
promised. No more killings.

Danny, the rat terrier, growls again.

(continuing; irritated)
I don't want to hear it.

Chris jams her foot on the accelerator and the vehicle speeds up the road.


The pair of armed guards stationed at the enormous iron entrance gate that leads to the mansion of Ramirez are startled by the sight of Chris' compact car roaring toward them and jump out of the way.

MEG (V.O.)
Oh, my god!

The small car slams into the heavy gates that fly apart in a shower of sparks as though they were struck by a bulldozer. The compact car races up the driveway.


A SECURITY GUARD rushes into the room where Ramirez, the slick lawyer, John Longtree and Meg's boss are seated.

A car just broke through the front
gate and it's heading for the main

Ramirez motions savagely and produces a pistol from a hidden holster at his spine.


We can't tell.

Get a reception committee to the
front door. Order the guards to
shoot that girl and those two old
people. Release the dogs. Move it!

The Security Guard exits hurriedly.


Chris' compact car comes to a stop beneath the portico of the mansion's main entrance. Chris hops out followed immediately by Danny, the rat terrier.

From around a distant corner of the mansion a trio of Doberman Pincers come running towards them.

The little rat terrier runs out to meet them, freezes and growls angrily at the approaching pack.

The three Dobermans stop in their tracks and begin to fidget about, unsure of what to do.

Danny, the rat terrier, snarls at them again and the three dogs turn tail and run, whining and crying in terror.

Chris walks calmly to the front door and rings the bell. Then she impatiently uses the knocker.

Meg, terrified, steps up behind her.


Ramirez and David Longtree peer over the shoulders of a pair of GUARDS at a monitor showing Chris and Meg at the front door. They don't know what to make of this.


Chris pouts at the heavy, closed door.

I guess they aren't going to open
up. We'll just have to break
it down.

Little Chris backs up and takes a running start, throwing a shoulder against the thick door.


The massive door EXPLODES from its hinges in a shower of wood fragments and falls onto the foyer floor.

The rat terrier runs in first, darting O.S. left.

Chris strides in confidently after him followed by a timid, baffled Meg who stares open-mounted at the broken doorframe.

A line of FIVE ARMED MEN appear in the hallway facing the main door. They point MP-5 automatic assault weapons at Chris and Meg. Ramirez and David Longtree step out from an adjacent room that is directly behind these guards.

Chris points at Ramirez.

Let your three hostages go and
there won't be any trouble.

Ramirez appears amused by this.

Kill 'em.

The five armed men open fire with their MP-5's set on full automatic.

Meg SQUEALS in terror and crouches behind Chris who stands there completely unconcerned.

Danny in the shape of a benign faerie stands between the armed guards and Chris. Everything is frozen in time, including the hail of bullets that hang in midair like small, grey stones. He takes a step towards the closest bullet and eyes it curiously. Then, with his index finger, he flicks it away. Danny begins to flick aside all of the bullets.

Motion is returned and Danny remains invisible between the seconds. The hail of bullets shatter wood and plaster all around Chris and Meg.

All the time the gunmen fire, Meg is doubled over SCREAMING in fear while Chris worries with a broken nail on her left hand as though she is oblivious to the gunfire.

The five gunmen spend their clips and stare in wonder at Chris. The walls, ceiling and floor all around her are pock marked with bullet holes, but she is untouched.

Chris looks up from her fingernail, cocks her head to one side and grins.

You missed!

Chris gives a short, IMPISH LAUGH, grabs Meg by the arm and hurries O.S. right.

Absolutely bewildered, the gunmen stare after them in wonder until Ramirez howls at them.

Get after them!

The gunmen start to give chase but all five tumble to the ground unexpectedly. They look at their feet and find that their shoelaces have been tied together.

More guards appear in the hallway behind them.

(motioning to them)
Come on.

They stride over the fallen five gunmen in pursuit.


Chris and Meg stop at the end of a long corridor. Chris is carefree. This is just a big game for her. Meg is traumatized.

(pointing O.S. left)
Go down that hall and turn right.
There's a door that leads to
another hallway. Go left and
you'll eventually reach the room
where they are holding Rene and
your grandparents.

How could you possibly know that?

Danny cased the joint for me. Take
Rene and your grandparents out back
to the swimming pool area. There's
a door in a wall. Go through it.
I'll keep these goons away from you.

Chris turns and darts away from Meg who stands there frozen for a few seconds too unnerved to move. Chris halts and waves a reassuring hand towards her.

Don't worry. Everything will be
fine. It's like it says in the
Bible "He that is with us is greater
than those that are against us!"

Chris gives a quick CHORTLE and dashes away.

Meg runs in the opposite direction as she was told to do.

A group of armed men, led by Ramirez and Longtree, reach the junction a few seconds later.

Ramirez looks in both directions and motions after Meg.

Some of you go after her. The rest
of you follow me.

The body of guards split up in pursuit of Meg and Chris.


Meg is running full tilt down a long corridor. Behind her, a group of four men, including Longtree, burst into view.

There she is!

The group of men race after her, but halfway down the hall the floor collapses beneath them and three of the men tumble into the basement below.

David Longtree is barely able to stop at the edge of the precipice and keep from falling with the others. The hole extends the width of the hallway. He stares down at the men in wonder unable to pursue Meg.

Danny in his benign faerie form walks to the edge of the hole in the floor opposite David Longtree. Time is frozen. He is wearing CARPENTER'S CLOTHES and holds a SAW in his hands. He looks down at the groaning men in the basement then back at David Longtree who is frozen on the other side of the gap.

I'm glad you didn't break anything.
I have plans for you.


Chris races down another hallway with Ramirez and a horde of henchmen hot on her trail. When she dashes past a pair of sliding doors, they slam shut.

The men can't budge the doors.

Break em' down!

Three of the men put their shoulders to the sliding doors, which begin to CRACK under their assault.


Two GUNMEN enter the bedroom where Rene is handcuffed to a bedpost and her grandparents are tied in chairs nearby. One carries the MP-5 and the other a pistol. The one with the MP-5 heads to the side of the bed but hesitates. He looks back towards his comrade.

I don't want to kill no kid.

What? You getting squeamish?
(motions towards grandparents)
You ice the old codgers. I'll take
care of the kid.

Grandpa struggles hard against the bonds holding him to the chair and looks defiantly at the first gunman who approaches and raises his assault weapon.

If I was out of this chair, you'd
be singing a different tune.

The first gunman raises the MP-5 and points it at his head.

Sorry, old man.

No - please.

Leave my grandpa alone.

Grandpa winces as the first gunman pulls the trigger; but instead of a bullet, water squirts from the barrel and hits grandpa in the face. The first gunman is as dumbfounded as everyone else in the room.

The second gunman raises his pistol at Rene's head and fires. A TINY FLAG bearing the word "BANG" flips out of the barrel end and unfurls. The second gunman raises the pistol to his face and stares at the flag open mouthed.

There is a low growl behind them and the two astonished gunmen turn to see Danny, the rat terrier, standing in the open doorway snarling at them.

The little rat terrier darts at the second gunman and bites his ankle hard.

Ow! Shit! Get away from me you
little mutt.

Danny quickly retreats to the doorway, turns and begins to bark loudly at the two gunmen.

The second gunman rubs his injured ankle and motions to his partner.

Hey, go brain that damn dog.

The first gunman heads for the door and Danny, the rat terrier, backs into the hallway. As soon as the man steps beyond the door, it suddenly closes by itself behind him.

There is a brief silence. Then, all hell breaks loose in the hallway beyond the closed door. There are loud BANGS and CRASHES. The walls literally tremble with impacts. There are SHOUTS OF DISMAY from the first gunman and ROARS that sound like they come from a grizzly bear.

The second gunman stares in confusion, still rubbing his ankle.

In an explosion of splintered wood the first gunman comes FLYING through the bedroom door. He lands unconscious at the second gunman's feet. His clothes are tattered.

Danny, the rat terrier, thrusts his head through the lowest part of the gaping hole in the door and snarls at the amazed second gunman.

Grandpa, still struggling with his bonds, suddenly discovers that all the ropes snap as though they are made of rotten string. He hops up and heads for the second gunman with blood in his eyes.

Try to hurt my granddaughter, will

The second gunman quickly retreats into the clear and tosses the useless pistol away. Grandpa jabs at him and throws a right hook, but he is far too slow for this fellow who dodges them deftly.

That's right, you'd better stay out
of my reach you yellow cur.

The second gunman stops in the middle of the room and from the look in his eyes has decided to do battle.

Grandpa rears back and prepares to make a roundhouse punch with all of his might.

Everything in the room freezes in time. Grandpa is in mid-swing and the second gunman is measuring him coolly as Danny in his benign faerie form strides up to them. He is wearing a traditional Chicago White Sox baseball uniform and cap. He carries a Louisville Slugger in his hands and hums the tune "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" to himself.

Take me out to the ball game,

Danny takes a position directly beside the second gunman and gets a two-fisted grip on his bat. He checks a swing that is meant for the side of the thug's head.

And it's one, two, three strikes
you're out . . .
(speaks between
clinched teeth)
. . . at the old ball game.

Motion resumes and Danny vanishes from sight.

Grandpa's roaring roundhouse misses the mark by an inch as the second gunman quickly jerks his head back and prepares to hammer the off balance old man.

An instant later, the second gunman goes flying across the room as though he had been whacked in the head with a baseball bat. He crashes into the bedside table and lies unconscious on the floor.

A confused Grandpa recovers and looks at the fallen man. He reasons that he must have hit him after all.

That's right. Mess with my family
will you?
(points at his fist)
Mike Tyson is scared of THAT fist.

Grandma also finds herself able to break all the ropes holding her as easily as if they were paper, and the handcuffs fall off of Rene's wrist.

At that moment, Meg appears at the door and peers through the hole made by the first gunman's flying body. She stares in wonder at the fallen enemy bodies.

Rene sees her with great joy.

Mommy. Mommy!

She runs into her mother's arms as Meg opens the door.

(to her grandparents)
We have to find a way out. We're
supposed to go to the swimming pool.
Come on, hurry.

They exit into the hallway with Meg clutching Rene's hand tightly.


Chris dashes down a wide hallway that has many doors opening onto it. She darts inside one and slams the door shut with Ramirez and his men in hot pursuit.

Two of the goons reach the door and yank it open. To their surprise, it is just a linen closet. Chris has vanished.

Chris peeks through a door at the opposite end of the hall behind the baffled crowd of hoodlums. An ARMED THUG at the back spot her.

There she is!

Chris giggles like a little girl and darts back inside the door as the armed thug pursues her into the adjacent room.

Other men try to follow, but, as soon as the armed thug enters the adjacent room, the door closes behind him and instantly is locked tight. Try as they might, the other men can't open it.


The armed thug finds himself inside a trophy room filled with big game products of the taxidermy trade: bears, lions, tigers, wolves, etc. He creeps through the collection of frozen creatures looking for Chris, occasionally hearing a ghostly chuckle from her, but finding nothing.

The man begins to feel nervous, cut off from his comrades. He eyes the heads of the stuffed animals with increasing nervousness. It is as though these long-dead beasts are looking at him with some evil intent.

He hears a low growl that appears to come from a stuffed wolf atop a large glass case.

He approaches the wolf and slowly draws his face within a few inches of the animal's snarling, open maw. Suddenly, it snaps at him and he jerks away in fear. He backs right into the waiting arms of a standing polar bear whose paws suddenly GRAB HIM.

There are ANIMAL ROARS all around and the man SCREAMS in terror.


In the hallway outside the trophy room a pair of guards are putting their shoulders to the door. Finally, it gives way.


A group of gunmen come into the room at ready looking for their comrade and Chris. They can hear muffled cries for help from the armed thug but can't see him anywhere.

They follow the noise until two men come to the polar bear, now back in its original pose. One fellow draws his head close to the animal's belly and hears the shouts for help coming from inside the trophy. It ate the armed thug whole. The two men turn their heads slowly and look at one another awestruck.


Ramirez and a squad of his guards are standing in the doorway to the trophy room peering inside when Chris walks casually out of one door up the corridor and into another.

(spotting Chris)
There she is!

Ramirez and his guards rush after Chris.


In another hallway, in another section of the house, Meg leads Rene and her grandparents down a long corridor.

Two of Ramirez's henchmen round a distant corner and race towards the family at full tilt.

All parties are frozen in time as Danny walks out of an adjacent door. He is pushing a WHEELBARROW full of bricks and mortar and wears the work clothes and cap of a mason. Whistling a happy tune to himself, he picks up a trowel and begins to lay brick across the width of the corridor directly in the path of the oncoming henchmen of Ramirez.


Chris dashes into a small ballroom devoid of furniture. All around are elegant cabinets for storage. The floor is hardwood.

Five armed thugs enter and pursue her.

Chris is spotted running into a closet on the far side of the room as the thugs enter. They pursue her, but when one of them opens the door a literal sea of marbles roars out, burying him and sending the shiny balls careening in all directions across the hardwood.

Two of the thugs slip on the marbles and land hard.

Ramirez is the last man to enter the ballroom. He stares in disbelief at the scene before him. Marbles are everywhere and his men are having a hard time staying on their feet.


Danny, still in his benign faerie form, is setting the last brick on his wall across the corridor. It stretches from one wall to the other and almost to the ceiling. He hums happily to himself.


Danny takes a step back and admires his handiwork, wiping cement from his hands on his mason's coveralls.

With one giant stride, he places his back to the corridor wall. He looks down the hallway where his grandparents, Meg and Rene are frozen in their escape. He looks back towards the wall and smiles wickedly.

Motion resumes, and the two armed thugs are seen racing down the hallway at full throttle.

Danny, his face in the shape of a benign faerie, raises his right hand near his cheek and holds it there for a second.

Danny snaps his fingers.


The brick wall appears across the width of the hall. There are two virtually simultaneous THUDS heard on the opposite side and the entire wall SHUDDERS violently.

A brick at the top is dislodged by the vibration and falls to the floor.


At the end of the hallway, Danny's grandfather comes to a stop and looks back towards his pursuers while the others in the company race around a corner. To his surprise, he sees Danny, now in his HUMAN FORM, standing between the bodies of the two fallen men, his arms calmly crossed over his chest.

Danny smiles and gives grandpa a friendly wink and quick salute. He then hurriedly disappears through a door that leads to an adjacent room.


The slick lawyer and Meg's boss appear in the chaotic ballroom. They have no idea what has happened and are as baffled by the sight of the marbles as Ramirez.

The slick lawyer holds a military-style radio.

The kid and the old people escaped.
They're headed into the back yard.

I don't know what's going on here,
but I want them all DEAD.

The three men exit the room with determination.


Meg, her grandparents and Rene are dashing across the spacious back yard of the mansion while gunmen fire at them from all directions.

Grandma holds her enormous crucifix high in the air.

(a shriek of fear)
Sweet Jesus, protect us!

Chris comes running up from another quarter. While Meg is terrified, Chris is happy-go-lucky.

Have any trouble?

Meg looks at Chris as though she has lost her mind, wincing at each new burst of automatic gunfire in their direction.

(continuing; unconcerned)
Follow me.

Chris dashes towards a large stone wall covered in vines that surrounds the pool area. There is an ARCHED WOODEN DOOR in the middle of that wall. Chris runs inside followed by the others, one after the other.

Grandma is last in line. She turns defiantly and holds her crucifix towards the men who are shooting at her.

And no weapon of man shall prevail
against thee! Praise Jesus!

Chris steps back outside and grabs grandma, pulls her forcibly inside and slams the door shut.

On the steps of the veranda outside a glassed-in sunroom, Ramirez, Meg's boss, the slick lawyer and David Longtree gather. They stare in the direction of the pool house. When Ramirez runs in that direction, the others follow. Ramirez reaches the arched door first and quickly darts inside followed by the other three men. Instantly, the door shuts.

Hot on their heels are three of Ramirez's armed gunmen. They reach the door and struggle to open it. At first, it appears stuck, but then gives way under the constant yanking.


The three gunmen rush into a posh, modern, outdoor swimming area, but neither their quarry nor their leaders are anywhere to be seen. They stop at the edge of the well-lit, marble-lined pool and look about bewildered.


The four villains discover they have stepped through a portal that led to the faerie hill in Ireland where Danny first met the Regent. The four men are dumbstruck. This should have been the pool area behind the mansion.

David Longtree turns to the door through which they entered but finds it is locked tight in the face of the granite shelf.

(whisper of dread)
What the hell is going on here?
Where are we?

Up the nearby hill, Meg, her grandparents, Rene and Chris are struggling towards a glow of distant lights. There is the lilting sound of the Irish whistle in the b.g.

Ramirez checks his nine-millimeter pistol and stares after then coldly.

Follow me.


Meg and company hurry into the clearing where Danny saw the dead body of his father. Now, the body is gone and atop the altar sits an ornate golden throne. Stone steps lead from the ground to it.

Standing in a solemn line on the opposite side of the altar from the humans is Danny's faerie family.

Meg clutches Rene close to her and eyes the strange looking creatures with dread.

Grandma quickly puts her crucifix between herself and them. To her, they look like demons.

The faeries glance nervously at one another, uncomfortable at the presence of humans on their holy ground.

Chris, ever cheery, motions towards the faeries and smiles at Meg. Her voice is bright. She is upbeat.

Meet the in in-laws.

At that instant Ramirez, Meg's boss, the slick lawyer and David Longtree break into the clearing. They stop short when they see the faeries.

(under his breath)
What the hell?

Grandma doesn't know where to focus her crucifix and shifts it back and forth quickly between Ramirez and the faeries.

Grandpa herds Meg, Rene and grandma to the stone altar so it is between them and the faeries. He shields them from Ramirez with his body.

Ramirez, Longtree and the slick lawyer raise pistols fearfully and point them at the faeries.

Chris, who hasn't moved, reaches into her pocket and produces a small notepad and pencil. She smiles to herself, shakes her head and hurriedly begins to take notes, occasionally glancing around, trying to absorb the details of her surroundings. She chuckles to herself in amazement.

God, what a story.

Ramirez hurries towards Chris, loops his left arm around her neck and drags her back towards his cohorts with the gun pointed at her head.

Don't anybody move!

"Don't anybody move." How cliché.
Watch a lot of John Wayne movies
when you were a kid?

Ramirez gives her head a short, savage jerk.

Shut up!

Chris tries to take more notes, but Ramirez's rough treatment messes up her handwriting, and she has to turn the pencil over and erase her last entry on the page. She scowls at him.


A tall, ominous figure strides slowly into the clearing coming to a stop between Ramirez's and Meg's company. It is Danny wearing a full-length green DRUID'S ROBE with the cowl pulled low, obscuring his face. He stops, staring at the ground in front of him.

You're standing on holy ground.
Put down your mackerels.

Ramirez discovers that he is holding a fish to the side of Chris's head.

David Longtree and the slick lawyer also have fish, not handguns, pointed at the faeries.

Chris chuckles to herself, raises the notepad above the crook of Ramirez's arm and scribbles more notes.

"Put down your mackerels." See,
that's original. There's nothing
cliché about that.

Ramirez again gives her head a short, violent jerk.

Shut up!

(ticked off)
Hey, get that fish out of my hair.
I just had a permanent.

Chris looks back at the notepad in her hand and pouts. She starts erasing another line.

Danny slowly pulls back the cowl from his head revealing his human face.

Ramirez tosses the fish to the ground.

(continuing; ominously)
I'll break her neck!

(to Danny)
Don't worry about me. I've already
done the dead thing today.


Danny turns slowly so he is facing Ramirez and stares at the man in grim silence.

You're the kid from that screwy
newspaper. Where are we?
(jerks his head in
the direction of
the faeries)
What are those things?

Those THINGS are my family. Both
human and faerie alike.

Meg, Rene and their grandparents look at one another in wonder and then glance nervously towards the faeries.

You're nuts. This is some kind
of weird dream.

Danny's eyes grow wild with rage.

For you, I think it will be more
of a nightmare.

Danny motions slowly with his right hand and, suddenly, the three Doberman Pinschers that were at the mansion roar into Ramirez, dragging him to the ground, tearing at his arms and legs, freeing Chris.

Chris darts over to Danny and frowns at him.

Danny. You promised.

He looks at her calmly and then back to Ramirez who is being torn apart by the dogs.

Yes, I did, didn't I? I promised
I wouldn't kill anyone. And
unlike humans, faeries are true
to their oaths.

He gives a short whistle, and the three dogs retreat to his side, watching the villains hungrily.

Danny covers his face with the green cowl again and slowly walks towards Meg's boss who retreats in terror.

He appears oblivious to the slick lawyer and David Longtree helping the wounded Ramirez on the ground.

Meg's boss steps backwards until he hits a boulder and slowly drops to his knees, utterly terrified.

No, please. Don't hurt me. I
didn't have anything to do with
the kidnapping.
(pointing towards
his comrades)
It was them, not me.

(hissing angrily)
Shut up, you little snake.

Danny stops within arm's reach of the frightened man.

I'm going to give you a chance to
redeem yourself. You are going to
my friend, Chris, everything about
the casino. Who you worked with on
the police department. Where she
can find the records. Everything.

Say a word and I'll kill you!

There are worse things than dying.

He nods in silent horror, not able to look up at Danny.

Chris, still furiously taking notes, looks up hopefully.

You know, the casino is a great
story, but, I was thinking, if
you'd just tell your brothers and
sisters to give me exclusive
interviews . . .

David Longtree overcomes his fear of the dogs and charges Danny. He grabs Danny by the shoulder and raises a fist to pound him in the face.

Longtree whips Danny around, causing the cowl to slip back to Danny's shoulders. The face inside is neither human nor faerie. It is something incredibly hideous - a ghoulish visage from a late-night horror movie that causes Longtree to instinctively recoil.


Longtree retreats to Ramirez in shock.

Chris jumps at first and then gleefully returns to her note taking. She speaks the words she writes aloud.

Yii! Oh, that was scary. "The
hideous face was something spawned
in the pits of hell itself . . .

Danny has returned to his benign faerie form. He again ignores the three villains and walks towards his human family huddled beside the stone altar.

Grandma brandishes her crucifix as he approaches and Meg holds tightly to Rene, afraid of him.

He stops directly in front of grandpa and studies the old man's face quietly. There is no malice in his eyes.

Grandpa knits his brow in curiosity as grandma thrusts the crucifix closer to Danny to drive him away. Grandpa slowly reaches out, grabs her hand and pushes the crucifix, away from Danny. Grandma doesn't know what to make of this.

You saved us in that house, didn't

Danny nods in assent, and grandpa looks over his shoulder and studies the faerie host.

I take it one of them raped my

Danny nods again.

What are they? What are you?

The Slooa Shee, the faerie host.
Humans have another name for them.

Grandpa looks at the line of faeries dubiously.

Those are angels?

It's a long story.

Chris suddenly appears at Danny' shoulder pen and pad in hand. She butts into the conversation hurriedly.

And it's a story that needs
telling, Danny. So, if you'd just
make them give me interviews . . .

Danny raises a hand towards her and she knows he means for her to be quiet.

(to Grandpa)
Why did you send me away?

Grandpa looks down at the ground in shame and then back into Danny's eyes.

One night, we came into your room
and you were sleeping in your crib.
You looked a lot like you do right
now with the horns and all.

Ah. That explains it. I always
wondered why?

Rene wrestles free of her mother's grasp and darts towards the line of faeries, fascinated by the little creatures.


Meg starts to give chase, but Danny reaches out and catches her by the arm to stop her.

It will be all right.

The faeries recoil as the child approaches and look at one another nervously. She walks right to the elder brother who had the altercation earlier with Danny. They are about the same height.

Are you my uncle too?

The faerie's lips begin to curl into a snarl, but then he sees Danny staring at him with dark resolution. He knows better than to make trouble, calms down and sullenly answers.


Much to the faerie's surprise and chagrin, Rene suddenly darts over to him and throws her arms around his neck.

I prayed for an uncle, and uncle
Danny showed up. Now I have lots
of aunts and uncles. Isn't god

The elder brother at first is repulsed by the touch of a human; but, the child's simple love begins to melt his anger, and he brings his hands slowly around her and pats her back, gingerly, as though he is unsure of what she might do.

Two female faeries on either side of the elder brother become suddenly interested in Rene and reach towards her, touching her hair and examining her clothes curiously.

The Faerie Regent approaches Danny.

Your majesty. The emissaries.


He turns resolutely and walks up the stone steps to the golden throne where he sits, rigid and regal, still in his benign faerie form. He is completely in command.

Two ancient wooden doors in their frames are brought into the clearing from O.S. right and set on the ground before the altar. The four faeries who carried them retreat with their heads bowed.

All of the faeries now bow to the earth and one of the female faeries pulls Rene down on her hands and knees.

Danny catches Chris' eye and motions to the ground.

(furtive whisper)
Everybody down. Hurry.

Meg's boss is already on his knees. Only the slick lawyer, Ramirez and David Longtree remain on their feet.

Even the Doberman Pinschers lie on the ground.

The door on the left opens dramatically, revealing a dreadful creature - a demonic faerie times one thousand. This is BAELZEBUB, regent to Lucifer. It is like looking into a television screen. There is a vast space behind the ugly monster where flames roar in the distance and sulfurous smoke billows into the clearing from the portal to the pits of hell.

Danny's elder brother, his face to the ground, reaches over and grabs Rene by the belt, sliding her backwards. His sister immediately squeezes tight against the child. They are obviously trying to hide Rene from view.

Ramirez, Longtree and the Slick Lawyer stare agape at this horrible visage from hell.

Meg's Boss, already a wreck, buries his head in the dirt with his eyes shut tightly. He is in tears. His body trembles violently, and he mutters plaintively.

Oh, sweet Jesus, please save me.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Baelzebub. High Regent to the
king of hell, Lucifer.

Danny stands and resolutely, albeit cautiously, strides down the steps of the altar from his throne and approaches the demon, Baelzebub. He has taken his HUMAN FORM.

I am Usheen, son of Duddan, who
stood upon the Field of Glory
before the Bright Gate and refused
to commit his angel band to the
fray. Your master, Lucifer, was
defeated and cast into hell.
For his disloyalty, Duddan and
the third angel band were made
mortal and sent in exile to this
place called Earth. And it was on
this very spot that they fell.

Chris, her head still on the ground, secretly eases out her notepad and continues scribbling furiously.

There is an angry snarl from the demon.

You don't seem pleased. Does my
human shape bother you?

Danny strips away the green Druid's robe and lets it fall to the ground. Underneath, he is swathed in battle armor. He snatches a pair of long daggers from his belt and settles into a formal war stance, the knives raised.

It is the right of your master to
challenge my ascent to the throne.
You are his champion.

The demon also has a SWORD about his waist. His gnarled hand grips the hilt and slides it part of the way from its smoldering sheath. It appears he is ready for combat.

There is a loud CLANG of metal against metal, and Danny cuts his eyes in the direction of the altar.

He sees his elder brother standing nearby wearing a polished helmet and carrying a shield and sword in his hands. His eyes are fixed on Danny, who shifts his eyes quickly from the demon to his kinsman, believing he may have to fight on two fronts at once.

I am Drumane, eldest son of Duddan.
I stood upon the Field of Glory
and begged my father to commit his
angels to the battle - but he
refused. And for that, we were
exiled to this dreadful place
called earth and forgotten.

Danny grips his knives resolutely as his elder brother approaches slowly.

To his surprise, the elder brother turns so the shield is facing Baelzebub and the faerie slides to Danny's side.

But on THIS day, if you fight my
brother, you fight with me, and
all the Slooa Shee.

The rest of the faeries, all dressed for battle scurry around Danny resolutely. They wave an assortment of medieval weapons: daggers, axes, pikes and swords. The elder brother slaps the side of his sword against his shield and SPARKS fly in all directions.

My brother passed the test of
power. He IS the Faerie King.
And we serve him even unto the
death of our kind!

Danny doesn't move from his war stance, but cuts his eyes in his Elder Brother's direction and speaks softly.

Thank you, Drumane.

You are welcome, my lord. Besides,
I always thought Lucifer was an
arrogant ass.

Protect the child at all costs.

Already done, my lord.

A pair of female faeries are kneeling on the ground in front of Rene, who still has her face to the dirt. They have bows set with wicked looking arrows, drawn to the fullest extent and pointed at Baelzebub. Behind Rene stands the Faerie Regent, and he has his staff raised above his head, also pointed at the demon. It glistens with magical power. Bolts of blue energy dance along its length. Obviously, if Baelzebub wants a fight, he can have it with this bunch.

So, is it a fight you want?

The demon's ugly face takes in the resolute crowd facing him. He leans forward and opens an enormous, misshapen maw. From it comes a TERRIBLE BELLOW of rage that echoes across the landscape. Then, he sheaths his sword with a loud snap. Fire roars around him and then subsides.

Danny stands slowly and approaches the demon. In like manner, he sheaths his daggers. His face has reacquired the benign faerie shape.

I'll take that as a no.

Danny stands within arm's reach of the demon regent and stares into its malevolent face calmly.

By law of the angel bands, upon the
ascension of a new leader, your
master is due a tribute. I have
brought him three gifts.

Danny raises his left hand slowly and points to the slick lawyer, Ramirez and David Longtree huddled together.

Never were there any three born of
human women who were better suited
for the place you call home.

The three villains stare in shock at the demon as long, black tendrils rush from behind the door and loop around them like vines. They SCREAM and fight, but cannot break free.

Is this sufficient tribute for your
lord and master?

Baelzebub gives him an ugly snarl and nods his foul head. The three men are drug towards the open door as they fight helplessly against the demon's grip. They HOWL in fear until they are drawn through the portal, and the door suddenly snaps shut in a puff of smoke.

Danny waves a hand in front of his face.

Ugh! Brimstone. What an awful

He turns and walks to Chris who raises her head.

I promised I wouldn't kill them.
In fact, they are going to live
forever and ever in that place.

He then walks to Meg's Boss who is groveling on the ground.

No, please, no.

Danny kneels beside the man.

You will tell everything you
know to my friend. If you leave
anything out, I'll know, and
Baelzebub will be given a new
gift for his master.

I swear, I'll tell everything. I
know where all the records are. I
have notes on everyone involved.


Danny stands up and strides to the altar where he again ascends and sits on the golden throne.

The faeries return to their original positions and kneel to the ground. The humans follow suit.

The ancient door on the right is opened and a brilliant light bathes the faerie hill. Standing in the doorway is a tall figure in shining armor who carries a massive, bright sword.

This is the majestic angel GABRIEL, who looks like a knight errant. The tip of the unsheathed sword is on the ground. Both hands are on its hilt. A golden trumpet is tied by a loop about his shoulder.

Gabriel, the warrior angel and
champion of God, king of heaven.

Rene bobs her head up to look, but the elder brother grabs it and pushes it back down quickly.

Danny straightens his back in regal fashion, his hands on both ornate armrests.

I am Usheen, son of Duddan who
stood upon the Field of Glory
before the Bright Gate and refused
to commit his angel band to the
fray. Your master, God, and his
soldiers won the day. For his lack
of loyalty, the Slooa She were sent
to this place called Earth. As
champion of God, your master may
challenge my right to the throne.
Do you wish to fight?

Gabriel shakes his head slowly from side to side. No.

I didn't think so. Then your
master is due tribute.

Danny turns towards Rene and motions her towards Gabriel. The child pops up and heads instantly for the angel.

Meg sees this with horror and, thinking she is about to lose her only child, cries out:


Danny makes a quick motion of his left hand, and it is as though an anvil has been laid across Meg's back. She is pressed to the earth, helpless.

Rene reaches the doorway to heaven and stares up in simple wonder at the angel's glowing face.

Gabriel reaches for the child slowly. His chain-mailed hand finds the delicate four-leaf clover charm Danny gave her the previous day that hangs around her neck. He studies the tiny charm curiously.

Rene, without saying a word, reaches behind her neck and undoes the clasp. The charm falls into Gabriel's possession.

The gift of a child's love. Is that
sufficient tribute for your master?

Gabriel closes his massive fist around the charm and nods.

Rene looks up at him innocently.

Do you know my grandmother?

Gabriel stares down at her and nods another assent.

Will you tell her that I miss her,
and I'm going to come see her some
day soon?

Gabriel reaches with his other hand, covered in a silver gauntlet, and gently brushes a strand of loose hair from the child's face. He nods again. Yes.

He steps back to leave, but Danny suddenly hops up from the throne and heads down the steps of the altar towards him. He remains in his benign faerie form.

Before you go, I have a question.

Gabriel turns and squares his massive shoulders, placing both hands on the hilt of his sword.

Danny extends an open hand to Rene who darts over to him and takes it happily.

My mother gave me a message. She
said I hadn't been forgotten.
She said the world wasn't made for
HER, it was made for me.
(he studies Rene)
I think I know what she meant.

Danny reaches down and lifts Rene so her legs gather about his waist and her arms grip his shoulders.

There is so much that doesn't make
sense about the human race. Each
generation seems determined to
repeat the mistakes of the ones
before it. They never seem to
GET IT. Always, the same errors,
They can change their environment,
but not themselves.

Danny looks into the distance wistfully and puts Rene down.

Go to your mother.

Rene runs to Meg who holds her tight and kisses her.

The answer to the riddle is, the
world is a stage, and all here,
actors. Our old master hasn't
forgotten us. He lost one angel
band and doesn't want to lose
another. So, he built this world,
not as a prison, but as a theater.
Humans with their incredibly short
lives, their endless struggles
between good and evil, their blind
hypocrisies, their courage, their
love and devotion. The Earth isn't
about them. It's about us. It's all
a morality play.

Danny and Gabriel stare at one another, motionless; and then the champion of god nods in agreement.

Chris looks up from the ground in awe.

(whispering to herself)
My god, what a story.

Danny turns to walk back to his throne, but stops. He looks back over his shoulder at Gabriel.

One more thing. Our old master -
did he have a hand in all of this?
Did he rig the game the way I did
at that casino so a faerie who was
half human would rule the Slooa

Gabriel raises his gauntlet hand and gives Danny a big thumb's up.

The magical door slams shut, and Danny shakes his head and chuckles to himself.

Four faeries appear and take away the doors while Danny mounts the steps of the altar to his throne. He motions to Rene, who leaves her mother, darts up the stone steps and sits on Danny's knee.

Danny points towards the spot where Gabriel once stood.

Fine fellow that Gabriel, but he's
much too serious, don't you think?
When you and I get up to heaven,
there's going to have to be some
changes made.

Chris starts to hurriedly mount the steps of the altar. This angers two faeries who brandish their weapons of war, but Danny waves them off and motions her to come to him.

Chris kneels at the foot of the altar and leans over the golden armrest as though she wants an intimate conversation with the king. Danny inclines his ear in her direction.

You know, I was just thinking. That
story about the casino is really
good, but this is a LOT better.
Maybe you'd let me interview all
of your half brothers and sisters?

Danny leans forward until his face is inches from hers.

(very softly)

Oh, come on Danny. Crime, money,
political corruption - it doesn't
mean anything. This is the big
story, not some dumb casino! It's
about why we're here!

Chris's whole attitude changes in a flash. She reaches out seductively and strokes his faerie hand.

(continuing; passionately)
Did I ever tell you that, secretly,
I found you very attractive, Danny?

Danny looks down at her hand rubbing his and back to her face.


Chris closes her eyes and throws a childish tantrum.

Oh, come on, Danny. This is the story of a lifetime!

Give me your notes.

Chris clutches her notepad to her chest protectively.

Not my notes!

The human race isn't ready to hear
that story.

Danny motions with his fingers, showing that he is serious about this. Reluctantly, Chris hands him the notepad. She is visibly upset with him.

You have one more wish for me to

Chris instantly looks hopeful again.

(continuing; shaking
the notepad)
It won't be this.

She pouts at him.

Do you want untold riches? I can
give those to you. I can make you
a world ruler, if that is what you
want. Thousands of people will
hang on your every word.

Actually, they already do that at
the Star.

Chris has a moment of serious contemplation. Finally, she looks back into Danny's face. She is quite serious.

You know what I really want? I want
to go back to heaven.

Then, choose wisely.

Chris turns and studies the innocent face of Rene, who is sitting in Danny's lap contentedly watching them.

Then I don't choose for myself. I
choose for another - Rene. It
would break her heart if you
weren't around. You said we live
very short lives. So, for as
long as we are alive, you have
to be a part of her family.
(looks around;
mutters to herself)
I guess I'd like to see you too,
now and then.

Danny leans towards her and smiles warmly.


Chris turns immediately and wags a finger at him.

But you're not getting any. Not
after the notebook thing.

Danny leans back in his chair and begins to laugh while Chris turns and surveys the clearing.

Humans and faeries begin to interact, examining each other curiously, touching one another. The old Irish jig, "The Gary Owen," swells in the background.


Chris and Wes Hammond are on the set of a morning talk show at the ABC affiliate television station in Chicago hosted by Melody Summers. Cameramen roll their dollies around the studio focusing cameras on Melody who sits to the left. Chris is in the center with Wes on the right.

A DIRECTOR motions to Melody with his right hand.

We are back on in three - two -
one . . .

Melody puts on her best Barbie smile.

Welcome back to "Melody In The
Morning," Chicago's most-watched
morning news show. I'm your host
Melody Summers and today, I have
as my guest Christine Ross, whose
article on corruption in the
Chicago Gaming Commission has
rocked the political structure
of this city. So far, five
members of the Chicago P.D. are
under indictment. Warrants are
out for key members of the
Chatahqua tribal council, owners
of the Pequot Casino that opened
last week. There is a manhunt
nationwide for one Carlos
Ramirez, head of a major Columbian
drug cartel, who used the casino
to launder drug money.
(turning to Chris)
Chris, I understand the information
for your article came from an
unnamed source inside the Gaming
Commission, a man who is now
working with the state prosecutor.
Can you tell me why he came
to you with all of this?

All of a sudden, he got religion
in a big way.

Melody shakes her head in wonder and turns to Wes.

And I also have as my guest, a
friend of Chris, Wes Hammond, who
was formerly editor of the Chicago
Gay Times; but I understand you
intend to take Chris's old job
at - The Midnight Star?
Why are you doing that Wes?

Wes' face becomes very serious.

There is this gay and lesbian alien
abduction thing that is just now
starting to come out. I find the
subject absolutely fascinating.

Melody stares at him open-mouthed and nods her head in disbelief.

(quickly changes
the subject;
turns to Chris)
And I understand you've been given
offers by The Chicago Tribune, The
Los Angeles Times, The Washington
Post and The New York Times. Have
you decided where you'll be going?

Actually, I've talked things over
with my boss at the Star, Carl
Grier, and I'm going to take over
for him while he goes on an
expedition to Mongolia for a year
to hunt for Bigfoot.

Melody can't believe she is hearing this.

You're staying at The Midnight

Sure. I'm a real reporter. I
want to be where the big stories

Melody is absolutely speechless. She doesn't know how to respond. At that instant, Danny, the rat terrier, bounds into the room, heads straight for Melody and hops into her lap.

Well, hello there. Where did you
come from?

She reaches down and scratches his ear.

Chris eyes Danny narrowly, not knowing what he is doing here.

Oh, that's Danny. He's sort of a
mascot at the Star.

Melody looks up quickly.

His name is Danny? Wasn't that the
name of the young reporter from the
Star who co-authored your article?


He disappeared. Police are afraid
he may have been captured by drug
dealers. Have you heard anything
from him?

Chris looks at Danny with her brow knit suspiciously.

No. But if I know Danny, he'll
show up when you least expect it.

Danny happily nestles into Melody's lap.

Well, aren't you the friendliest
little thing. You know, I always
wanted a dog, but I never had time
to care for one.

He certainly seems to like you.
Why don't you take him home? He
pretty much takes care of himself.

Melody appears genuinely pleased to be given this offer.

Really? I'd be happy to bring him
back to your paper tomorrow.

Keep him as long at you'd like.
Danny always finds his way home.

Melody rubs the little dog's head.

Oh, that is so sweet of you. Thank
you so much.

A troubled look crosses Melody's face, and she chuckles to herself. Obviously, there is something on her mind.

I hate to bring this up, but
everyone in the newsroom here has
been ribbing me about it all

What's that?

I was reading the horoscope section
in The Midnight Star yesterday, and
it said that in nine months, I was
going to give birth to an alien love

Chris looks instantly at Danny who wags his tail happily. She looks back at Melody with a completely stone face.

Well - you read it in The
Midnight Star.

-- THE END --

--Back to Top--

 !  Sidebar Information /
Fan Fiction

Brad Renfro

In this script, Brad Renfro plays the part of Danny. To read a brief biography, go to Brad Renfro >>.

Janeane Garofalo

In this script, Janeane Garofalo plays the part of Chris. To read a brief biography, go to Janeane Garofalo >>.

Irish mythology says there were once three bands of angels. Following a war in heaven, one group fell into hell and became demons. Another, not good enough to stay in heaven nor bad enough to become demons, were banished to Earth and became "The Faerie Host." These angels could take human women as lovers, and their offspring sometimes had magic powers.

Danny (Murphy) Giovanetti, a copywriter for "The Midnight Star," a newsstand tabloid of the absurd, doesn't know it, but he is half human and half faerie. In fact, his father was the most powerful faerie of all: the king of the third angel band.

While Danny is writing testimonials about alien abductions and his friend Christine Ross is dreaming of a big story that will get her hired by a "real" newspaper, an event of monumental proportions has occurred. Danny's biological father, the faerie king, has died, and his offspring are searching for his replacement. Succession isn't merely hereditary. A test of power is involved, and all of the king's legitimate heirs have failed it. So, the faeries come for Danny, whose life is suddenly turned upside down by their attempts to capture him.

As human friends and family members come to the conclusion that Danny is losing his mind, his powers of magic begin to emerge. By accident he grants his friend Chris her dearest wish, the biggest story to hit Chicago in decades. A drug cartel is using a local casino to launder money and both police and government officials are involved.

Realizing millions of dollars are at stake, a Columbian drug lord sends his henchmen to deal with the threat to his plans and, inadvertently, triggers the ultimate transformation in Danny from human to faerie. Danny is, indeed, the faerie king, the most powerful of his kind, and, like all faeries he can be both angelic and demonic in behavior.

A climatic battle pits supernatural power against bullets, the drug lord and his accomplices against Danny and the faeries. Danny ascends to the golden throne of the Faerie Host and faces the emissaries of the other two angel bands. At that meeting the ultimate purpose of human existence is revealed. Chris sees the biggest story of all time unfold in front of her eyes, but, unfortunately, she will not be permitted to write it. The Faerie King is more than an action comedy. It is a sweeping tale that addresses eternal issues such as hope, love, family ties and the struggle between good and evil.

Select any one of the links below to go to another part of
The Faerie King >> 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Children's author, singer, tankerman, newspaperman, John H. Leeper has help many positions in his 55 years on this earth.
To see a photo and learn a little more about him, go to John H. Leeper >>

  |   1 | 2 | 3 | 4   |  

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